twirly dresses

The little girl asked to be excused from the classroom so she could use the restroom. Her teacher handed her a hall pass and out the door she went. Second grade was turning out to be so much better than she expected. Her teacher had turned out to be the nicest lady and after being so afraid of her before school started, the child was filled with relief. The hallway in the school was so long and the walk to the restroom seemed to take forever to the girl, especially when she had to go so bad. As she walked, she noticed the green tile and how the sun shown on them from the doors at the ends of the hallway. The girl walked close to the wall…a habit from getting run into alot…it felt safer. The restroom was across the hall from the office and she was almost there. She was glad she’d worn a dress today. It was her favorite one. The top was all white with white buttons and the sleeves were very long and had ruffles at the ends. Her most favorite part was the skirt though. It was big and when she’d twirl, it would swing so far out! She felt almost beautiful when she was twirling. The stripes on it were tiny and blue, green and purple…it was so pretty. The restroom door was finally in sight. On her left, a door opened. Out of the door came the man who mopped the floors and emptied the garbage cans. He asked the child if she wanted to see something special inside that he had inside the closet. Of course she did…she was 7 and seven year old girls want to know everything. As she peeked inside the closet, she thought it looked kind of creepy in there. It was dark and there were shelves everywhere and it smelled funny too. The man coaxed her inside and closed the door. “Look over here sweetie. See what I have.” He was touching his pants and had a scary face now. Where was his smile from before? The little girl wanted to leave now but the man said she hadn’t seen the surprise yet. He turned away from her for a moment and when he turned back he was holding his mop. The child was so relieved because he was going to mop the floor now and she could go back to class. As the man reached behind her she thought he was opening the door so she could leave. He just locked the door…reached right over her shoulder and turned it so now there was no leaving. The panic the child felt began to receed and suddenly the little girl wasn’t worried about herself anymore because she was floating at the top of the room. She wondered about the child being held down on the floor and the man shoving his mop handle inside her. Why, she wondered, didn’t the girl scream or fight? It was so sad when grown ups hurt children and the child was so grateful to be up above it all. When the girl got back to class the teacher asked her for the hall pass and she couldn’t remember where she left it. The teacher sighed and told her it was ok, they could cut out another one. The little girl never wore a dress to school again…and when she grew up and had daughters of her own, she didn’t let them wear dresses either. Twirling didn’t feel magical anymore. Peace.


3 responses to this post.

  1. (((((Traci))))) You have gone through so much. Stuff that would have hardened the heart of a lesser person, yet you have persevered. You share your love with your daughters, friends, and even with your new friends, like me on the internet. I hope you know just how special you are!

    I hope that one day you will find a special occasion to wear a special twirly dress that holds so much magic that it takes away any pain from the past and that you dance! That would be my wish for you. It will be a beautiful day!


  2. you are all the more stunningly beautiful because of the shadows in your past. my heart hurts for yours, but swells at the knowledge that you’ve perservered and flourished.

    by the way, grace is not my daughter. i’m only 22 and she’s a 7 year old tornado of terror. she has two sisters. i’ve been their babysitter for 7 years. they’ve become more like my younger siblings…i lovingly call them my girls, but i am no one’s mother. just a nursing student. peace.


  3. ((((((((((((Traci))))))))))))))


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