Old ones, new ones…sounds like it could be a line from Dr. Seuss eh? I am awake this morning at the ungodly hour of 6 a.m. It feels ungodly to me because my alarm actually goes off at 5 for my husband and I lay there waiting until he leaves for work. When he’s gone, it’s actually time for me to get up. If I was faster at getting my crap together in the morning, I could get up at 7 buuuutttttt, I need the time to wake up and get my mind around the concept of actually working this day! So anyway, my routine is to wake up, grab something to drink and head down into the abyss that is my office/computer room for half an hour or so to listen to my favorite morning crew on the radio and read/write email etc. It’s a very grounding time for me. I connect with my friends and fortify myself for the day.

I have some amazing friends. In a recent entry here I wrote about all the “friends” who disappeared when I made some healthy choices for myself and my daughters years ago. The friends I am blessed with now have seen me at my very, very worst and love me anyway. They are supportive and wonderful and I am totally blessed to have them. I’ve met them at work, at school, through my children, online, in my old neighborhood and as next door neighbors in our apartment what seems like eons ago. It’s interesting to me that we get what we need whenever we seem to need it.

I belong to a group of women who met online at Oprah’s old website when it was on AOL. We began posting our gratitude for the day in 1998 and are now the best of friends. All 15 of us travel around the country once a year or so to hang out, sightsee and party. We’ve been to some amazing places and these women have been such a blessing in my life. They were there with me chatting online the day my ex husband began trashing the garage in rage and when my computer froze during that chat, my phone began ringing. We live in all different parts of the country: New England, the South, the Midwest, California, the Pacific Northwest. We literally span this great country of ours and it is amazing.

I have some friends here in town that I’ve met at work or in school through my girlies. They are teachers, office workers, maintenance folks or other parents. When I realize how special they have become to me and how affirming they are, my heart swells with love for all of them. I have gone from being a woman who has always felt “less than” because I wasn’t given the opportunity to get my college degree to being a woman who knows that degree will be mine eventually. Slowly but surely I am getting there. When I hang with these friends of mine, I am always inspired and come away feeling so validated and cared about. I feel accepted in spite of my flaws and that is such a gift to me. The people who disappeared from my life never gave me that feeling ever. I was always afraid that I was doing something wrong or wasn’t doing “it” good enough or whatever. It was a chore and a trial and never very relaxing. Just writing the words says alot for how far I have come in the past 7 years.

Now I have begun the journey into the world of blogging. Go figure. I’m always (ok, almost always) up for something new. I didn’t think too much about it all. I simply wanted to learn how to do it. I wanted to learn something about html and photo linking and all that interesting computer stuff. I also hoped for another outlet for the “stuff” inside me I guess. During my journey from victim to survivor I have learned to let it out through a variety of different ways: music and singing, art, writing, crying, reading, helping others to name a few. The writing can be cathartic and painful however it can also open unexpected doors as can all art forms I’m learning. Anyway, as I began this little learning experience, I had no idea it would turn into something more heart touching.

Every morning I get online to read my email now there is something new from someone new in my life and this day was no exception. I am guilty of thinking that nothing can surprise me anymore alot of the time but I have to say blogging has surprised me. The people whose paths have crossed mine have surprised me. I feel so blessed. It is a continued testament to the journey that is my life to find so many loving and wonderful souls as I make my way. It is such an eye opening, heart opening, soul opening experience to see more of the good in this world and to meet new friends who I am sure will touch my life in ways I can’t possibly imagine at this moment.

Amazing. Special. Wow. Peace.


6 responses to this post.

  1. Hi Traci! Just wanted to say you have a great blog. check my blog out. We stand together on stoping abuse…Lynn


  2. good morning, traci. i am so thrilled that you have so many great people in your life now. we all deserve that kind of support and love from our friends. many people find that only through a select few, but you are blessed to have stumbled upon a new world/community of friends. my heart is happy for you.


  3. Beautiful post. This and the last.

    Get yourself a pedicure. You deserve it and it’s worth every penny.


  4. “I belong to a group of women who met online at Oprah’s old website when it was on AOL.”

    Hi Traci..I enjoyed reading this blog entry..Same thing happened to me on Rosie’s show message board.
    Some I have met, travelled and continued friendships with. One particluar online friend, we have yet to meet in person after 5 yrs ..I’m hoping when Ro appears on broadway next fall, this will be our chance. I love NY!


  5. I love you so much Traci. I send you warm and gentle hugs. I am truly blessed by the love we share as friends.

    Loving light,


  6. It is amazing isn’t it.
    That this machine can be a source
    of receiving such care, compassion and even love from friends.
    I’m glad that you have found that here.
    It helps so much in hard times to know that friends read even the not so nice sides of me and suppoort me anyway.
    So even have the nerve to
    set me right. I appreiciate that too.


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