heaven on a blanket

I spoke with a nurse today regarding the results of my mom’s CT scan. I am impressed they had the results so quickly. While I was speaking with this woman however, I felt like I was going to throw up all over my desk. The news is not good, of course. It all just brings the inevitable closer. The summary is this: There is a gradual increase in size of the tumor located in the upper lobe of her right lung. (This is with the chemo she just finished two weeks ago) There is a stable pleural effusion in the right lung. There is increased density in the left lung, most likely an inflammatory process. (Related to chemo) There is diffuse fatty infiltration of the liver. (Not necessarily metastasized cancer – could be liver damage from, you guessed it, chemo)

I have no idea what the doctor will tell my mom about all this on the 16th but I am thinking it will not be comforting. I started crying at work again dammit. I am a freakin’ wreck when I have to deal with all this. It’s becoming too real. I know what the inevitable is. That doesn’t make it any easier.

So, I am taking my daughters to a concert tomorrow. I am completely excited to be able to do it and looking forward to it so much! My very favorite artist in the world and my very favorite people in the world all in one place. Heaven on a blanket in the grass. Happy stuff for me and I am in need of it right now for sure.

Peace.

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4 responses to this post.

  1. Traci
    Enjoy the concert with your daughters (who ya going to see?)
    and take care of yourself..its a very hard thing what you’re dealing with..don’t forget some moments for Traci. Hugs to you.

    Reply

  2. Oh sweetie. I have been thinking about you. A little incognito the last couple of days. I am so sory about the news. But you know? Anything can happen. It really can.

    In the mean time, visit heaven. Heaven on earth with those girliques of yours. The more I know, the less I know, but I am convinced that it is about love. Enjoy! Live! Love!

    Who are ya going to see?

    Reply

  3. Why haven’t they removed the upper lobe of that lung? That was the first order of business for my mom’s cancer… take the whole lobe out. But you know that since you’ve been to my blog.

    You’re all still in my prayers. Have a GREAT time at the concert with the kiddos. Sounds all kindsa fun!

    Reply

  4. Traci..I may not post often but I read and continue to send goodthoughts your way..Hoping things can get a little easier.

    Reply

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