Archive for June 12th, 2005

enough

Isn’t it interesting how we all seem connected in some way? I ask that because I logged on tonight to write here in cyber-space about an amazing thing that happened this weekend and before I begin, I go to read my email and my favorite blogs etc. I get to my friend Lightfeather’s blog and I read about connections and miracles and good stuff. I think “hmmm, how amazing is that?”

Anyway, this morning I slept until almost noon. My daughters and I had a lovely time last night and my youngest won back stage passes to meet one of the artists too! It was a cool moment for her (and me) because it was her very first concert and to go back stage on top of it…well, let me tell you, she was soaring. It was pretty awesome. We got our picture taken and the requisite autographs and back to our seats we went. It was all over so fast but my baby has a memory… quite a memory… to last forever.

So, as I was saying…I get online this morning and do my thing. I checked on my child support account just in case you know? I almost choked on my drink to discover that either tomorrow or the next day I will be receiving almost 2000 dollars. And after that, there is still another 1300 coming. To anyone who knows how totally freaked out about money I’ve been this past week, you know this can only equal a miracle.

This miracle means I will be able to give my husband his money so he will quit driving me insane with his asking for it. This miracle means I can provide my daughters with the summer clothes and shoes they so desperately need and I will be able to give my oldest daughter a nice gift for graduation too. After that I will still have money left over! Yippeeeee!

I am not telling my husband about the extra money showing up. I am only going to let him know the usual payment has arrived. I am making a conscious choice to keep it private because it is for me and my children. NOT HIM. I also happen to know that my graduating daughter is getting a significant amount of money from my mother and I have given her instructions not to mention it to my husband because it is for her. NOT HIM.

We really are all connected to something larger. I truly believe that if you “put it out there” you will receive a response. It may not be the response you think you need, but it will be a response just the same. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve written in my journal, asked friends for help or just talked about it with others this past few weeks but here it is. I can breathe easier for a bit and that is good enough for me. I’ve never asked for more than I need. I don’t want things and stuff. I just want enough. Enough to provide for my children. Enough to pay my bills. Enough to do something fun every now and then. Just enough. Peace.

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