such a day

Oy vey…I wish Sarah was here to give a good Jewish word for this kind of day. I realize there are major big deal things going on in the world however I am hard pressed to care too much about them right now. I have belonged to a group of women who post their gratitude daily for over 7 years now. Today I no longer belong. Why? Because I had the nerve to ask a question that no one wanted to answer. It has been ugly…and I mean with a capital “U” ugly. My heart is hurting and I don’t know that I will ever understand some of the horrendously horrible email I received today. People I thought were friends, who’ve been there with me through some of the toughest stuff…informed me that I was crazy and they didn’t want to be around me and on and on it goes.

I’m sure they neither know nor do they care that I spend a good portion of time in my therapist’s office asking her if I’m crazy and scared shitless that maybe I am…only to have her tell me that those who are truly crazy (as in certifiable) are the ones who are convinced there is nothing wrong with them. What all this means for me today I don’t know except to say that I am sad…very sad. Perhaps this is the universe’s way of telling me it’s time to move on and do something else now. I wish it wouldn’t give me the message in such a painful way though!

Since I have nowhere to write my daily gratitude now I’m going to do it here. Today I am grateful:

for my beautiful daughters.
for true friends. I’m grateful to know I have some.
for tears. They are healing.
for movies in the mail…gotta love NetFlix.
for making my own place here and moving on…even if it is sometimes hard.

To all reading…may you have a reasonable day…and night…and tomorrow. Peace.


6 responses to this post.

  1. (((Traci))) You are love. Never doubt that, my friend.

    I love you,


  2. Mine is never the popular opinion. Mine is rarely the “politically correct” one, either. There are those who would disassociate themselves from me rather than open their minds to accept that perhaps there are other answers to the questions being asked, or other perceptions that might be valid. There are those who would rather be “Right” (with a capital R) than to accept that perhaps theirs isn’t the only opinion that is valid. Those people I don’t need in my life, on any level, at any time.

    People don’t have to agree. That’s the beauty of it. We only learn and grow as people when we can learn from those who have different opinions than we do. That’s how we open our eyes and our worlds to other, and perhaps greater, possibilities. In a forum like this, I often present my opinions in an “in your face” sort of way, mostly just to get people to think. And I hope, at the very least, that if they don’t like what I’ve said that they’ll really think about the reasons why. In my “real life” I’m rarely as confrontational, but in my real life, my friends tend to think in a similar way. Not all of them, but most. And the ones who don’t, well, we have fabulous, interesting, intelligent conversations and love each other like crazy no matter what.

    I am grateful that you have a mind and a voice, and that you are not afraid to use either of them.


  3. Traci,
    wow.. I’m really upset that people who you have known for so long would not only disassociate themselves but be nasty about it.. just because you asked a question.. let me tell you THAT is truly and collectively insane.. not you…
    But know that you are probably better off without them, cause they are obviously pretty close minded.
    I think you should post your gratitutes here or at BSF.. I for one would love to see them. It reminds us that no matter what is going on in the world.. we do have things to be grateful for.
    I hope you have a wonderful weekend, and know that your blog friends are here for ya..


  4. Jaded !! well said !
    Traci, I have been through this soft of thing on line.
    Those who say On line relatinships aren’t real are nuts.
    It hurts just as much when they turn on you, when they
    hurt and you feel for them, when they have good news and you
    celebrate with them.
    Your feelings in all this matter and need to be spoken.
    I am so sorry they have hurt you for simply asking why or what or how.

    Post your gratitude list on BSF too if you like.
    I’ll add mine too when I can.
    Maybe other will join in.

    I love ya…


  5. Oh Traci 😦 I’m so sorry. I for one would be thrilled to read a daily gratitude journal 🙂




  6. I can only say ditto to everything that has already been said here.
    Don’t let them hurt you.
    You are a wonderful person and it is their loss if they chose to treat you like this.
    many hugs,


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: