I received an email from my daughter yesterday. Keep in mind I have not had ANY email from her since she got to college. In it she asked me to help her set up a doctor’s appointment so she could get birth control.

Now I am writing that sentence with absolutely no exclamation because I was ummm…not surprised exactly…more like disappointed and unsure of what to say to her. I know she’s not a baby anymore but damn, she’s just started college and I was hoping it wouldn’t get to this point so quickly.

Anyway, I replied with instructions about how to get a doctor’s appointment, my feelings about her foray into the sexual world, reminders to be safe and not let anyone pressure her into something she’s not ready for and verification that I will always love her no matter what she does or doesn’t do and then I told her I was proud of her for being able to talk about it with me.

I left it at that.

Until last night.

Right before I went to bed I wrote an email to both her and her boyfriend, Michael. She’ll probably be furious however I sent it to them both. In it I simply told them that I wanted them to be safe no matter what choices they made and that I would love my daughter no matter what happened and stand by and support her choices. I recognized that they are adults and now have to make adult choices and re-iterated that I will not ever be an interfering mother however I thought it was important that they BOTH know someone loves them and wants them to be safe.

Who knows if that was the right or the wrong thing to do. Interesting thing about it, as I was typing it I recalled a vision, dream, deja vu kind of thing about typing it. I told them that too. *sigh*

Motherhood sucks sometimes. Peace.


8 responses to this post.

  1. The positive side of this is that your daughter felt safe enough to come to you about it, and get help to stay safe.

    We went through this with Jen when she went away to college. We can’t stop them from what they’re going to do, whether they tell us or not, and whether we like it or approve or not.

    I really do think that the fact that she came to you means that you’ve done right by her, and for her. It’s not easy watching them change and do things we know, in our hearts, that aren’t right for them or they’re not ready for.

    Hang in there and just stay as open as possible with her. You can always scream, cry, and gripe about it when she can’t hear or see!


  2. it’s great that y’all are being open with each other and able to communicate about this. i think that she will see your letter and response to her is full of concern and love.


  3. I think what you did was great. They will know that you care- and that’s what’s most important. I too called my mom for birth control (I wanted to go on the pill) my first year in college..and she was not liking that idea a bit. I know it is very hard to let them grow up..and know that my mom was hating that part of it..and worrying about me.
    (Though I did turn out ok, if I do say so myself lol)
    Your daughter is lucky to have such a caring mom!!
    Hugs- Lea


  4. hey traci – you are a good mother. your intentions are true, and she will be able to see that. don’t doubt yourself or the great job you did in teaching her to be a responsible adult. key word is adult. whether we like it or not, it happens. be proud of her. she is your creation, your gift to the world.


  5. that dejavu feeling was probably from a premonition from a long time ago of having to deal with this very situation.
    you are a good Mom and your daughter felt comfortable in coming to you for guidance.
    you have taught her to be responsible and she is proving that to you now. can’t get better than that. it is so hard to let go of the little girl in your mind and know that she is becoming a grown up 🙂


  6. Identifying your baby as a woman is so difficult. So hard to accept when you want to protect them with every ounce of energy and love you have from within. You have shown your true love in the words and concern that you shared. It is her path. You are providing the safety net of love along the way. Love accepts all, unconditionally, and you have done that. You are a good mom. I love you.


  7. {{{{{HUGS}}}}} Man I hope I can handle it that well when Sarah asks me!




  8. that post creeped me out, im so not looking forward to my girl going to college….

    i think you’ve done the right thing all the way around, cause guess what, she could have asked a teacher or a friend, but she asked you!


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