mother’s day

Mother’s Day. My first without my mother. I alternate between joy in my children and sadness in my mother’s passing. Every now and then the urge to call her almost overwhelms me. I’ve dreamt of her recently. In all the dreams, she is her usual self. I feel sad upon waking after one of these dreams and yet I find myself wishing for more of them. I’ve been thinking more and more of writing my mom a letter. I may get there eventually. Today, however, I will write to my daughters.

Dearest Daughters:

I love each of you so much. Every day, I thank the universe for the miracles of you. I am in awe of you. I still, after 20 years of mothering, find it amazing to wake up to you. When we talk, when we argue, when you’re here with me, when you’re there with someone else…I am so touched by your beautiful souls.

I listen to you together and am so thankful you have each other. To see the loving relationship you have warms my heart endlessly. I learn from you every day and I am a better person because of you. You are intelligent, talented, kind and generous young women and I couldn’t ask for more than you are. To “mother” you is the greatest gift and I treasure it more than I can express.

There is so much I want to say and the words just don’t come. I’m going to leave the lyrics of a new song here and pray you know that every word mirrors my heart.

“My Wish”

I hope that days come easy and moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you’re faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin’ till you find the window,
If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,
But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God’s grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.
But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big…
~RascalFlatts~

 

 

 

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7 responses to this post.

  1. Happy mothers day traci,
    I was thinking of you first thing today. I hope today is filled with reflection that soothes.
    Have a great day.

    Reply

  2. Happy Mother’s Day! Hope you have a wonderful day!

    Reply

  3. Happy Mother’s Day! I hope you are spoiled like crazy.

    Reply

  4. Traci,
    Your post touched my heart.
    I can see the love for your daughters….Stand tall and be proud.
    As for your first Mother’s day without your Mother….hugs to you…I don’t think there is anything else I can say to help.
    Take care. Hope your day was great.

    Thanks for your kind words on my blog.

    Reply

  5. Happy Mothers Day to a fellow mother with out a mother. It took me a good 3 years before I was comfortable with the Mothers Day thing again. But WE have to remember we have our kids to think of. So we can think about our moms, but we have to celebrate Mothers Day with our children. I know your mom will be looking down and be proud of what a good job you did.
    I have made peace with my loss, but it took time.
    I hope you can find the same peace I have knowing that they are in a better place, the spirt lives on and watches out for us.
    I hope you can enjoy your Mothers Day with your kids.
    take care

    Reply

  6. Happy Mother’s Day to you too! (It actually is the same day in Canada.. different in the UK.)

    Thanks for popping by.. I hope the day wasn’t too hard for you.

    Hugs

    Reply

  7. Thought of you yesterday, but didn’t have enough words to tell you what’s in my heart regarding your mom and your loss, and all the stuff surrounding it all. I still don’t have words today, but I needed to let you know that you’re in my thoughts.

    Reply

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