For a week or so now I have been on the edge of tears. Since the day it was announced that a “terrorist”, held at Guantanamo Bay for years, confessed to a crime spree beyond belief, I have been trying not to cry.

What has become of our world? How did America, the land of the free, become the land of torture and media blackouts and a president who believes his actions are above the law because he is the “decider”?

Does anyone actually believe for a moment that this man’s confession is for real? He was held for years at an American military base. He has never had legal representation. He has been tortured. He may not be an American but he is held by Americans who know better. How does the treatment this man received at the hands of Americans, with government approval, make us different than the people our “decider” says we are after.

Does it make us different from Saddam Hussein who tortured people in his prisons? Does it make us different than Hitler who gassed people in death camps? Does it make us different than world cultures who will stone a woman for being raped? How does torturing people of ANY nationality, from ANY country, under ANY circumstances make us better than the rest of the world? How is terrorizing people making us free from terror? Doesn’t it, instead, create an environment of terror?

I see what’s happening and I am heartsick. My heart sighs for the mothers and fathers who must fight an illegal war and leave their children behind. My tears fall for the children who become orphans quite literally at the hand of this president.

I held a brand new baby yesterday. For two hours. As I closed my eyes and felt that warm little bean bag body against my chest, my tears began to fall. They fell for the miracle of the child in my arms, they fell in sorrow for the child I wish I’d had, they fell for the wonder of new life and the beauty that exists in our world.

My tears fell for those so affected by this illegal war; the soldiers, their families, this country, that country, the world in general. They fell for me and my children, my mom and my dad and the losses we’ve all had over the past few years. Tears fell for the lovely day we were having and the rain that would come later; for friends, past and present; for every feeling and thought that seemed so much bigger than life yesterday.

Today I sat at my desk in the same office I’ve worked in for the past 8 years. I answered the phone, greeted visitors, processed the same paperwork I’ve processed hundreds of times and thought. I thought about my lovely daughters. I thought about their future. I thought about my future and what’s important to me. I missed my mother. I looked forward to a getaway to the coast in about 10 days. I ate and laughed and worked knowing I was free to leave whenever I pleased. I knew that I’d have food when I got home and a bed when I was ready and that if I didn’t have something I wanted, I could climb into my car and go get it.

I also knew there are people being held prisoner in this country without the rights that every American citizen and every American prisoner is entitled to. We have a constitution and laws that guarantee those rights to everyone. I knew that if I wrote about it the way I really wanted to, there is a “law” in this country that would make it acceptable for our government to haul me in and keep me prisoner without representation for as long as they wanted without repercussions. 

The Patriot Act makes it acceptable for our government to do many things that go against the Constitution. We are told these things are necessary for our safety from terrorism. We are told that this Act has kept us safe from terrorism. When our cries for truth and honesty are heard by the “decider” and his group, we have paraded in front of us the latest example of how this Patriot Act is saving us from terror.

I know I am not the only person who sees the coincidences involved. I know I’m not the only person who can add 2 + 2 and see the answer is not 5. I’ve said it before: I do not believe in coincidence. Our government is setting us up. They have led us around by the nose since 9/11 and made up story after story after lie after lie to get their way and do what the “decider” has wanted to do all along.

It’s wrong. It’s illegal. It really needs to be stopped. I wish I could do something other than write my congressional representatives and protest. I wish I felt like one person could truly make a difference in this situation. I wish I felt hope.

I bet I’m not the only one.


6 responses to this post.

  1. You are SOOOOO NOT the only one, Traci. As someone sworn to uphold the Constitution and the freedoms it contains, I’m scared to death of what has happened to our system of ‘representational’ government. Of the people, For the people, By the people? My ass. Not anymore, it’s not.


  2. Posted by The Boston Pobble on Thursday, March 22, 2007 at 11:48 am

    No, no you’re not. Hang in.


  3. Don’t you sometimes wish you could just turn back the clock? 😥


  4. I along here with you too, so you’re not the only one. It sickens me what is going on.


  5. It’s getting scary. My husband is of Maltese descent and has been stopped, questioned, and treated as if he were a suspicious character several times since 9/11. I was really worried for quite some time… just waiting for the Gestapo to come knocking on the door, ya know? He’s a freakin’ American, just like me.


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