world premiers and birthdays

We were gone this weekend. My husband and I traveled the 6+ hours needed to reach the small town my oldest daughter attends college in. Ugh. The drive is killer.

We went so we could be present for the world premier of a piece of music she wrote that won 3rd prize in a composition contest. It was fabulous. Midnight in the King’s Garden is a composition for eight trumpets and it was amazing.

Her birthday was this past weekend as well. She turned 21.

Let me say that again.

My. Daughter. Is. 21.

Oh. My. God.

Added to that, my girl is losing weight and I heard her say this while we were there: “I’m finally starting to feel like I’m pretty.”

It wasn’t even my birthday and I felt like I was given the best present ever. This child of mine, who is no longer a child, has been my biggest worry. I am embarrassed to say that this child has touched every single fear I have in my life and brought them to the surface in ways I couldn’t imagine before her birth.

I never wanted a kid to be made fun of like I was…or feel ugly like I did. This girl got both of those things in spades. I never wanted a kid with too much that didn’t blend in because I knew how traumatic it could be. This girl of mine functions somewhere at the high end of the autism spectrum and all I can say to that is…she was always noticeable. There is so much I could write but thinking about it brings tears and I simply cannot do it right now.

I want to focus on the lovely, amazing, confident woman she is becoming and how totally proud of her I am. For the first time since she was a very little girl, I can honestly say I truly enjoyed her company.

I need to say that again.

I. Enjoyed. My. Daughter’s. Company.

If you don’t know my daughter, there is no way in hell you can understand just how big that is. Trust me. It’s Big.

Happy Birthday Erica Rose. I love you.

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9 responses to this post.

  1. Congratulations. To Both of You. :-)))

    Reply

  2. She’s 21?!?!?!? (OMG)

    You enjoyed one another’s company??!?!

    BRAVO!

    Reply

  3. OMG, how awesome is that?!?! I am so happy to read this! The mother-daughter relationship can be so complex — I’m thrilled for you that you had this experience!

    When do you post the composition so we can hear it?

    Reply

  4. Don’t know your daughter, of course, yet it is fairly easy to understand your joy, if not the specific dynamincs. Happiness and hugs, dear!

    Reply

  5. Posted by scribbleandscribe on Wednesday, November 21, 2007 at 5:04 pm

    wow! How great is that!!!
    Happy Thanksgiving Traci,
    You sure deserve a wonderful holiday!

    Reply

  6. Happy Thanksgiving, honey. I read this post before, but was too verklempt to say anything. It is amazing, a testament to who you are and to who Erica Rose is. Wishing you many, many years of enjoying each other’s company.

    Reply

  7. Nice. I am friends with a couple of women whose kids have Asperger Syndrome, so I know a little about what you’re talking about. We had an interesting discussion about this at our book club meeting last weekend (we discussed “The Curious Incident About the Dog in the Night-Time” written in the voice of an autistic boy). They are bright and honest and innocent kids and they’re how we should all be but aren’t. It’s like you want to protect them from the world as we know it, and amazingly enough, it’s their unique, wonderful spirits that make the world a better place.

    Reply

  8. What a sweet post. And yes, time flies. I can’t believe my baby is not a baby anymore.

    Reply

  9. that’s huge..you must be bursting at the seams with love and pride..thanks for the love on my journal..you are always on my mind too hun…you are NOt out of sight out of mind..
    peace baby..always peace…

    Reply

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