part twenty-two

I’ve thought alot about what to write for this part of my series. The piece of this story that comes next has created issues. Issues for me. Issues for people who once claimed to care about me. Issues for people who I thought were friends. Issues for my family. I’ve lost alot in my life based on what comes next in my story.

I enjoy writing this blog. I need to write my story. I need to say the words out loud and be accepted even though I’ve said them. I’ve said the words aloud before and let’s just say the response has not been stellar. So, I am at an impasse. I simply cannot say what comes next. I just can’t. I’ve lost too much and the pain of those losses is still too big for me. I thought I could do it. I was wrong.

I hope your Thanksgiving was a good one. I absolutely loved having five days off in a row. It was heavenly.



5 responses to this post.

  1. Ah, Traci, you do what you need to and we will be here for you, regardless of what you need to write or can’t write. It doesn’t matter to us. YOU matter to us. 🙂


  2. Yes, Traci, YOU matter. 🙂 You matter more than any words. I understand where you are. I told someone something and it did cost me. I trusted the person very much and the reaction hurt me terribly. In a way, I’m paying the price right now, only I don’t have the guts to blog about it. I can barely speak of it. It took me a year and a half to even realize and admit how much that person’s reaction hurt me. I don’t know what to do, either, but it seems I have chosen the silence. Funny, that’s costing me, too. I guess that’s what to do. Telling will cost and not telling will cost. I have to decide which one has the higher price tag and go from there. I’ve been thinking about possibly finding just ONE person who is not a big part of my life and telling them just to see what happens. I have to find someone who has no agenda and see what they think of what I have to say.


  3. I started blogging it and now I’m going to try to get some sleep. Hope your Thursday is a good one Traci.


  4. Huge hugs from across the pond.


  5. Twinnie, say anything or nothing, and it’s still good just to have you here. Your story — each part of it — has made you who you are today, and I know from personal experience that you are a beautiful person, inside and out. So whatever this part of your story is, and whether you ever speak it again or not, cannot change who you are now. And I really, really like who you are now.


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